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| I'm trying to get rid of some of the stuff the reminds me of the situation. So, if anyone who reads this lives in Parkersburg (or goes to WVUP), let me know if you're interested in any of this stuff.
Volumes 1-5 of Death Note (manga)
Volumes 1 and 2 of Utena (DVD)
A red and black necktie
A black widow key chain
A pair of handcuffs (and two keys that work better as charms)
Withering to death by Dir En Grey (with bonus Region 1 DVD)
Shin Megami Tensei Digital Devil Saga 2 (Possibly)
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| "Shit happens." That's a nice way to look at things. It's true. Yesterday started to feel like one of those special days, until Dani pointed out that I have friends who care about me and a brother who loves me. So, I told myself that this sort of crap happens all the time to other people. So, I'm not going to dwell on it, for the most part. I mean, I'm going to back off from dating for a while, just until I get my faith back. I keep telling myself women aren'tall like that. Mike and I just happened to date two who were for our first real relationships. Damn, those aren't good thoughts.
"You don't care, I don't care why we care
About those who try to steal your faith"
I'm listening to "Noontide" right now because it makes me feel better in almost all situations. No, I'm not feeling better just because of the song. I was up most of the night thinking about this, and I realized a few things about myself. One of them was that I have no sex drive. Now, I don't know if this has to do with my hormones or anything else, but that's what I realized. So, what I need isn't a physical relationship. I just need someone to bond with on a deeper level than my friends. I love my friends, so don't misunderstand me on that. Yes, I thought I could reach that deeper bond with a girl, but it just didn't work out this time around.
Everyone's telling me all "There are other," "Stay positive," "Not everyone's like that," and I'm sitting here in my corner singing "Noontide" to myself. I don't know why, but that just seems funny.
For the curious, no, I didn't cheat on her. Yes, the break up hurt. Yes, the truth hurt a hell of a lot worse. No, I didn't hear it from my so called "friends" or even her. but gods, help me. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel or act or what I should say. I'm through with tears or even trying to understand. I don't want to be bitter like Mike, but I'm just not sure right now.
Blar... I feel like I've rambled enough for now. Hey, that's what these things are for, right? Later.
--Joker | | |
| Have you ever known something was wrong physically but didn't want to go to a doctor about it for fear that it is really something worse? That's what I'm feeling like right now. I haven't told Ashley about it, either because I don't want her to worry. If you ever sit with me in the lounge and your sitting to my left, and I'm facing to the right, don't take offense.
Hey, on a lighter note, I've been playing God Hand. If you're in to senseless violence, this is the game for you. I love it! I don't know what it is, but I found it to be addictive. Gene and Olivia are interesting characters, though Mike and I are "debating" Gene's sexuality (you'd be surprised on which sides we ended up falling on that debate. Really, it's not what you'd expect). It's mostly funny stuff.
I've almost completed my transition to the new computer. I just need to get my music and pictures burned to CD.
Well, I'm going to go off to watch Texhnolyze. If you need me, you guys know how to contact me. | | |
| I can't believe the semester is almost over. I'm nervous. I shouldn't be, but still, I am.
I hope Mikey likes his Christmas gift. Mom and Dad paid for it, but Nikki and I did the work for it. 6_9; I'm never doing that again on a school night. I know I failed that test in algebra. Falling asleep at your desk during an exam's probably a bad sign. -sigh- I didn't understand some of the questions, either, so... Joy! When I finally got home, I slept, but not uninteruptedly so. So, I'm still a bit out of it, but I don't feel like I'm high.
I'm listening to Joker's Theme right now. It's calming but creepy, but it helps me think clearly.
One of these days, I need to just get over whatever demoralization is holding me back in Persona 2 and finish it. I'm pretty close to the point where I can get Tatsuya on the team, if I remember the walk through right. Of course, no walk through it really going to help with the problem I had last time. I kept hitting trap doors. v_v; It just isn't a Persona game without long dungeons with trap doors. I'll probably be playing that over winter break, if I don't learn what I'm doing wrong in Shadow of Destiny.
Okay, so here we go again with another gamer question. When RPGs are concerned, what actually makes a game good? A good story is usually what people answer to that, but then, why did we put up with lackluster Final Fantasy stories for so long? If we really want a good story in games, then why aren't games like Legacy of Kain in the top tier, like the Final Fantasy games? Everyone pretty much agrees that the story was the big draw of that series. I know Rihito likes Persona 2 because of the story, and he has a pretty good understanding of the story since he's played all of Persona 2. So, when he says there's more character development in Tsumi to Batsu than in VII, I tend to believe him over the guy who has played VII and a little after Morimoto Hospital in Eternal Punishment. Why? I'll let him explain that one, but it is interesting.
Of course Rihito and I could just be crazy since we seem to be the only two people in the world who feel that way. Are we misunderstanding something?
Even in all of this talk about Persona and Final Fantasy, I guess I should announce this: one of my favorite RPGs is Rhapsody. "Why?" you may ask. Why, indeed? Well, it doesn't take itself seriously all the time, and it actually did something sort of unique. It tried (and failed) to mix dungeon crawling with tactical battles. It also... was seriously a musical. So, you don't have to like it, but at least acknowledge that it was creative. The characters were shallow, but it could get away with it because it wasn't trying to be serious. It was Nippon Ichi's first game, so the fact that they went that far out on a limb was pretty impressive.
So, I ask again, what makes a role playing game good? I'll tell you what I honestly believe most gamers think. No matter how much people try to deny it, I'm not going to believe it. But what makes a role playing game good to most gamers is a big budget, fancy graphics, and expensive marketing. Unfortunately, that spreads to other genres, too. Anyone want to challenge my statement? I'd love for someone to prove me completely wrong.
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| You know, I used to be pretty good as Zappa, but then I stopped playing for one reason or another, and now I've forgotten. -sigh- Has it really been that long? I had also forgotten why I stopped playing as Faust until I had a nice, short talk with Rihito-kun. Thanks, Rihito. That's one thing I wish you wouldn't remind me of! Even with everything I forgot, I remembered how to play as Zato/Eddie. So, I guess that's okay.
I'm just going to wait for Mike before I do anything else with Universe. Sega realized a lot of people played offline, but what they didn't seem to realize was that everyone was playing multiplayer offline. I guess they get props for trying, but did they have to make Ethan so annoying?
Anyway, if anyone's interested, I'm going to try to start a campaign at WVUP. First session is basically going to be a learning session. I'll give you all of the information needed on the setting, teach you how to work the system, and introduce the character log. The character log is a way for me to get feedback, and it's also important so the players can flesh out their characters a bit more. Plus, it makes it easier for me to get an understanding of the characters so I can actually customize the campaign to their needs and desires, rather than forcing them into a preconstructed adventure. (Hint, hint, Eldmor.) I'll be keeping an NPC log, too, for the players to read, if they want.
Also, I'll hold on to character sheets this time around, so the players don't get caught up in number games (like during my last campaign). Is there anything else I should do to prevent meta-gaming?
Hmm... the usual DM in my normal group is up to no good again. -sigh- Chances are, if you want to run a Strawberry Panic campaign and force all of the players to play as anti-social angsty characters, not follow the yuri stereotypes, and put the player characters into real danger, you need to scrap the idea and go watch SP again. Since he's too bull headed to do that, is there anything else the players can do to salvage this train wreck of a campaign? (Besides annoy him with the fact that we were right about my messed up little Bridget-like character. If you don't know what I'm talking about, check this out.)
Eh, well, I think I'm going to go work on the introductory stuff for the campaign. Later.
--Sinful Joker | | |
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